Flawless

I was sittin' in Friday's suckin' on a glass of wine When in walked a chick who almost struck me blind She had wet blue eyes and her legs were long and fine On a scale of one to ten, I'd give her a nine Now on my scale there ain't no ten's, you know Nine is about as far as any chick can go So I flashed her a smile, but she didn't even look at me So for brains and good judgement, I'd give her a three I said, "Hey sweet thing, you look like a possible eight You and me could make eighteen, if your head's on straight Well she looked up and down my perfect frame And she said these words that burned in my perfect brain She said, "Well, another one of those macho-matician men The kind to grade all women on scales of one to ten And, you gave me an eight, well, that's a generous thing to do Now, let's just see, just how much I give you" She said, "You comin' on to me with that corny numbers jive And your style makes me smile, I give it a five When you walked up I noticed that suit you wore It's last year's double-knit frayed-cuffs, give that a four" "That must be your car parked out on the curb That sixty-nine homemade convertible, a three and a third Now, as for that build, I guess you're less than five Except, for your pot belly, I'd give that a ten for size" "Now that wine you're pourin' might be fine to you But I'm used to fine Champagne, I give it a two And it's hard to tell what your flashin' smile is worth I give it a six, you could use a little dental work" "But, it's your struttin' rooster act that really makes me laugh It may be a ten to these country hens, but to me just three and a half And there really ain't much to add once the subtractin's done And since there ain't no zeroes, I give you a one" Well she walked out, while up and down the line The whole bar was laughin', said, "Hey Bare, what happened to your nine?" Nine says, "Ah hell, soon as she started talkin' I knew Sure didn't have no class, I barely gave her a two" Yeah! No matter how good they look at first There's flaws in all of them That's why on a scale of ten to one, friend There ain't no tens